When you are growing up, you are often told by your parents, other parents as well as teachers and peers (pretty much everyone) that you shouldn't be selfish. We spend so much of our young lives being trained to think that being selfish is a bad thing that we don't realize how it might be good for us. For instance, being selfish is sometimes needed to make ourselves feel better. Take the example of someone who is suffering from low self-esteem. Why is it that they are suffering from the low self esteem? More than likely, it is due to the fact that they have an extremely poor outlook for themselves. When they look in the mirror, they don't see someone who looks good and stands tall. Instead, they see someone who is flawed and cowering in a corner.

Poor self esteem can stem from any myriad of problems. Whatever the cause, the main way to address issues of poor self esteem and lack of confidence is selfishness. That's right. We must learn how to be selfish- or love ourselves first before we can garner any respect or even lend emotional support to others. We are more likely to be respected as well as have our opinions respected if we carry ourselves well and are confident. However, this takes time and much practice. How many people do you know take the time to sit down and examine their lives. Who am I? What are the things I truly enjoy? Many of us tend to adopt other people's interests as a means of gaining acceptance into other social circles. However, all we are doing is fooling ourselves into believing something that we are truly not. This all ties into knowing who you are and feeling comfortable in your own skin.

When we take the time to actually get to know ourselves, then we can sit down and take the time to get to know others. If you like to listen to country music, but no one else you hang out with does, that's ok! It's simply a part of who you are and what interests you. You can still be friends with people who have different interests than you. What you shouldn't do is ignore or fail to acknowledge the things that make you happy because these very same things that make you happy also make you who you are and help to build your confidence in who you are. If you like to exercise a lot, realize that this is something that makes you happy. All of these little things help to add to your confidence. Neglecting yourself will get you nowhere fast. All it will do is serve to remind others that you don't respect yourself, and as a result you won't be respected as much by others.

The most important opinion should be your own when it comes to your personality. Look at the major success stories out there such as Bill Gates or Oprah. These are confident people. More importantly, these are people who are comfortable in their own skin. And this is how you need to feel as well.