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- Love Calculation Meter - 5 Clues You Are in a Toxic Relationship
Love Calculation Meter - 5 Clues You Are in a Toxic Relationship
- By Robbie T. James
- Published January 7, 2009
- Unrated
Robbie T. James
Being in a toxic relationship hurts everyone involved. Want to get healthy, together? Check out advice from love gurus who have helped thousands of others at: www.in-your-arms-again.com
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A love calculation meter starts with a set of questions that tells you how successful your relationship will be. But, do you suspect that your relationship may be actually unhealthy - even toxic?
Here are some clues that could cause your own "love calculation meter" readings to be set to "toxic":
1. Your partner makes you look bad in front of other people
2. He or she doesn't show you with their actions that they love you
3. Your partner has a controlling personality
4. He or she tries to make you dependent on them in an unhealthy way
5. You have changed parts of yourself just to please them
Someone who is toxic makes you feel uncomfortable - or even sick - just by being around them. So, why would you ever choose to be in a toxic relationship? Why would you ever choose to be with someone who might emotionally harm you?
Relationships that are toxic tend to follow a set pattern. They start out rosy enough, with what we can call the honeymoon phase. Then, something happens - everything blows up, the "train goes off the track." Finally, the couple makes up - and the whole pattern starts again!
When you first meet a new person - anyone - and things initially go well, you are in that initial honeymoon phase. But, if you are with a toxic person, by the time you realize it you may be in too deep. At that point, it can be hard to turn things around.
You may be caught in a vicious cycle whereby you continue to attract toxic relationships, one after another. This may be due to your personal family history. Many people who are attracted to toxic lovers grew up
in toxic homes themselves. Then, when they get into this type of relationship, they are merely playing out the pattern. Why? They may not know any better. Or, they may believe they do not deserve to be happy. Others may enjoy the feeling of helping another person who may be hurting emotionally.
Regardless of the reason, if you are in a toxic relationship, you need to make it a priority to get out or to fix things.
The first step in doing so is to start protecting yourself and asserting your uniqueness and independence. If you are like most people involved in a toxic relationship, your partner has convinced you that the negativity you both feel is your own doing. If you have bought into this way of thinking, it can be very hard to neutralize the negativity.
For many, receiving counseling can be a good way to break the toxic pattern in the relationship. Some people end up leaving their toxic relationship, only to go on and find a more healthy one. Others are able to actually repair the relationship they are in.
Believe it or not, most relationships can be saved. In the case of toxic relationships, it is going to take more than just a little space, though. It is going to require identifying the reasons you have chosen a toxic relationship. And, the issue of the toxicity has to be raised to both partners. However, if both members of the relationship can recognize there is an issue, you may be able to salvage things.
Face it - a healthy relationship requires input from both of you. To fix a toxic relationship, you both need to recognize the problem and then take steps to get into a healthy way of being together. You have the ability to make the change, but you have to first educate yourself how - and then you have to take action.
Here are some clues that could cause your own "love calculation meter" readings to be set to "toxic":
1. Your partner makes you look bad in front of other people
2. He or she doesn't show you with their actions that they love you
3. Your partner has a controlling personality
4. He or she tries to make you dependent on them in an unhealthy way
5. You have changed parts of yourself just to please them
Someone who is toxic makes you feel uncomfortable - or even sick - just by being around them. So, why would you ever choose to be in a toxic relationship? Why would you ever choose to be with someone who might emotionally harm you?
Relationships that are toxic tend to follow a set pattern. They start out rosy enough, with what we can call the honeymoon phase. Then, something happens - everything blows up, the "train goes off the track." Finally, the couple makes up - and the whole pattern starts again!
When you first meet a new person - anyone - and things initially go well, you are in that initial honeymoon phase. But, if you are with a toxic person, by the time you realize it you may be in too deep. At that point, it can be hard to turn things around.
You may be caught in a vicious cycle whereby you continue to attract toxic relationships, one after another. This may be due to your personal family history. Many people who are attracted to toxic lovers grew up
Regardless of the reason, if you are in a toxic relationship, you need to make it a priority to get out or to fix things.
The first step in doing so is to start protecting yourself and asserting your uniqueness and independence. If you are like most people involved in a toxic relationship, your partner has convinced you that the negativity you both feel is your own doing. If you have bought into this way of thinking, it can be very hard to neutralize the negativity.
For many, receiving counseling can be a good way to break the toxic pattern in the relationship. Some people end up leaving their toxic relationship, only to go on and find a more healthy one. Others are able to actually repair the relationship they are in.
Believe it or not, most relationships can be saved. In the case of toxic relationships, it is going to take more than just a little space, though. It is going to require identifying the reasons you have chosen a toxic relationship. And, the issue of the toxicity has to be raised to both partners. However, if both members of the relationship can recognize there is an issue, you may be able to salvage things.
Face it - a healthy relationship requires input from both of you. To fix a toxic relationship, you both need to recognize the problem and then take steps to get into a healthy way of being together. You have the ability to make the change, but you have to first educate yourself how - and then you have to take action.